Here are some great stories from a few Limo Drivers that have been doing this a long time.
From The Outrageous Funny Story Files…
Highway to Heaven
Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there
was a limousine there to transport him to his home.
As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver.
“You know” he said, “I am 87 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for
a while?”
The driver said, “No problem. Have at it.”
Billy gets into the driver’s seat and they head off down the highway.
A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap.
The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone.
The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and he got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure.
The young trooper walked up to the driver’s door and when the glass was rolled down, he was surprised to
see who was driving. He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor.
The supervisor asked, “Is it the Governor?”
The young trooper said, “No, he’s more important than that.”
The supervisor said, “Oh, so it’s the President.”
The young trooper said, “No, he’s even more important than that.”
The supervisor finally asked, “Well then, who is it?”
The young trooper said, “I think it’s Jesus, because he’s got Billy Graham for a chauffeur!”
LIMOUSINE ON IT’S BELLY…
San Francisco is famous for the trams, private residences of celebrities and a smart landscape with abrupt
differences of heights. On one hand it makes this city unique. But on another … the longest stretch limo on
the basis of a Ford Excursion SUV silently-peacefully carried a cheerful wedding party to a banquet… – things
like that are better left unsaid. And, on one of those inclines… Oops!
A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides.
During one trip, the driver dropped her at a mall before going to the gas station. The cat remained in the car, laying down on the top of the limousine’s back seat.
The service station’s attendant often glanced at the unusual passenger. Finally, he asked: “Sir, is that cat someone important?”
This story is real and was told to me by a friend who was lucky enough to work at the Ideal Charter Illinois company as a limo driver. Once he got to take 10 girls to a bachelorette party. One girl came to him before they left and said: “Listen, if we get a little loud and wild, do not worry. If there are any problems I will take care of them — I am a cop.” And she showed her badge to prove it. So, down the road they really got wild and loud and were drawing lots of attention. Eventually they were stopped by a police patrol. Two officers came to the driver and asked him if he was aware of what was going on in the back of his limousine. He said: “Yes, Sir! One of these ladies is a police officer too and she is in control of everything!” The two officers got really curious about who the cop was… They came to the back of the limousine; the window rolled down and… All 10 pulled their badges out!
One cab driver invented a new way to get extra income. When he would pick up a tourist who barely
spoke English at O’Hare airport in Chicago, he would get on the Tristate Expressway. There is a toll
plaza along the way. The passenger would see a booth and a gate and get curious about what it was. Then the cab driver would
say: “Excuse me, Sir. We are about to cross an American border and you must have a special pass.
Do you have it?” Of course the passenger would get nervous because he had never heard of anything like that
and did not have “a special pass.” Then the cab driver would say: “Well, OK, I have a solution. If you pay
me $100.00 I will get you through. Just lay down in the back seat and cover yourself with this blanket
(and he would pull out a blanket ready) and be quiet. I will let you know when we have passed it”… :)
One of my passengers told me this story happened to him and a cab driver. He once arrived at O’Hare airport coming from
Indianapolis, IN. He got a cab to go to his home in one of Chicago’s northern suburbs. He was so tired that he told the driver his
address and fell asleep. When he woke up it was already dark and they were still riding. He asked the cab driver what was
going on and where they were… But the next moment he saw a sign on the road — “15 miles to Indianapolis.”
So when this passenger got into my limousine he said: “I hope you speak English well and know how to get to my home. Please
don’t take me back to Indianapolis — I just came from there and now I want to go home!”
Another true story happened to me and one of my passengers. I guess this gentleman learned not to use a shared ride service
ever again!
It was a busy Friday evening — around 5:00 PM (afternoon rush hour). The dispatcher sent me downstairs to the terminal to pick up 2 passengers heading to suburbs that were pretty close to each other. So there was no problem. Once I got them in my car, the dispatcher told me to hold there because I would have one more passenger. Ten minutes later I picked up one more lady going to Waukegan, IL — still not too bad, as it is also close to those suburbs. And again my dispatcher told me to hold on. I had a Lincoln Town Car — the 4th passenger had to sit in the front seat. When my 4th passenger saw 3 ladies in the car he asked me if he was going to be the first to go home, but he lived in Wadsworth, IL and had to be the last one. He was MAD — but tried very hard not to show it. So we got on the expressway and sat in horrible traffic. It took us almost 2 hours to get to the first address, then another 30 minutes to the next address, and so on. Finally that gentleman got home — 4 hours later — and saved $10.00.
This story is real and was told to me by a driver I used to work with.
He was driving along, thinking about what he was going to make for dinner. And instead of taking the way to his passenger’s home, he went to his own house. He parked his car in his driveway, went inside, and started preparing his dinner. Suddenly he remembered that he still had a passenger inside his limousine. He ran outside, opened the door, and saw his passenger sleeping soundly. So he started his car again, drove to the passenger’s address, then woke him up and told him as if nothing had happened: “Sir, you are home!”
